I just had a conversation with my husband that, I think, sums up our marriage.

Me: “Husband, will you please go to BevMo on your way home from work and buy Triple Sec and Peach Schnapps? We’re out.”
Husband: “Sure, will you come outside and bring my wallet? I actually just got home.”
M: “I can’t, I’m not wearing pants.”
H: “Put some on and come with me.”
M: “But I’m doing the dishes.”
H: “Do them later?”
M: “Also, we’re out of beer.”
H: “You’re an alkie.”

Eventually I brought him his wallet, but didn’t go with him to BevMo. Some wives send their husbands out for milk or diapers, but in our house it’s “Don’t come home without the vodka.”

I had a cold shot of Tequila waiting for him when he got home.