Totally sick of studying.

I’m so glad it’s almost Spring Break, because I am so sick of studying right now. 😥 I’m currently studying for my History of Rock class (don’t knock it — It’s pretty interesting and challenging) and the study guide I’m making is getting hellishly long. I took my first quiz for that class today and I got an A — WOOO. My confidence has been shattered lately with the whole Bio fiasco (speaking of which, we had another paper due last Friday, and who forgot to do Yes, that would be me.:faint: ), I’ve never had so much trouble with classes at CSUF before.

My Bio lab is hard, too. I’ve been doing well on the labs (I think) but the quizzes have been totally rocking me. 😥 In cases like this I would bank on a paper to help my grade, but A) my paper writing abilities aren’t as solid as I thought they were and B) I don’t know if the lab has a paper. And I just got a D on a paper in American Character… maybe because I didn’t read the books all the way through? :angel: Hopefully it won’t hurt my grade TOO much. I’m doing really well in my Shakespeare class. We have quizzes on every play that I’ve been acing, and I felt really confident about my last exam. My other English class is pretty sweet too — when we have it. It was cancelled again today, which is bad. We’re already WAY behind on the material (as in 5 days behind. That’s a LOT.). I don’t know how I did on my paper, either. Hopefully I did well. 😥 I could really use the confidence boost right about now.

Other than school, I’ve just been feeling really isolated lately. And it sucks even more because I know it’s all my fault. Mike has to work on the weekends, and he was the person I would usually ALWAYS hang out with on Friday and Saturday night. But now that he has to work, I usually just stay home and study. Sometimes I hang out with {Vanessa}, but we can’t all the time because she’s at school or like last weekend, she was visiting {Tyler}. I don’t hang out with anyone else, so I was at home by myself. And it’s so retarded of me, because {Byron} even invited me to go to worship with him, but I had a lot of homework so I didn’t go. But by the time Saturday night rolled around all my homework was done and I had nothing to do except veg out. Feeling like a loser for having no friends. And I spent a very wasteful night wearing Mike’s clothes (my loneliness fighting mechanism) watching crappy TV and generally feeling sorry for myself.

I really don’t want pity or anything like that. My dad always warned me not to ignore my other friends when I had a boyfriend, because I would end up alone with no friends. And I don’t think I have ignored friends. But I know I did not make an effort to make any new ones because I was happy being obsessed with Mike. I’m still happy being obsessed with Mike. But he can’t be there for me all the time and it’s unfair of me to expect him to be. And living so far away from school doesn’t help either… by the time the end of the day comes, I’m so tired I have just enough energy left to make the drive home. I have thought about joining extracurriculars though, and I do go to the Anime Club meetings when I can. But the people… well let’s face it, they’re kind of weird. And I love my fair share of weird people, but maybe not so much all the time.

I dunno. 😛 Part of me hopes it will get better once (if) I transfer to UCI, but I’m not really counting on it. Sometimes I think I should have gone to UCD, but I don’t know. I’m not really sure if things would have been any different. I don’t really like to think about it too much because I don’t regret not going there, and it’s pointless to think about it now. Plus, I know my family couldn’t have afforded it.

Anyway, I’ll end my general whining and such there. Hopefully no one read this far. 😡

2 thoughts on “Totally sick of studying.

  1. Hi Erin. 🙂 I came to pity you… just kidding! I know how you feel. I feel pretty isolated at LMU because it’s like I have no friends. I have friends, but I don’t hang out with anyone. I haven’t found my “group” if you will. It seems that you are having the same problem. : I guess I would suggest looking into extracurriculars, but they don’t have to be school-oriented. I’m sure there are lots of things going on in your own lovely RSM community that you could be a part of, or go with Byron to Jesus things or you could try volunteer work, etc. Sometimes I’m just not interested in things going on at school. It seems like the easiest way to make friends is at work or through other friends. 😛 So I getcha… I hope we both find some friends, hehe. And we should still hang out all the time because I <3 you. 😀 Bye!

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