Oops!

So after 3 days and no comments, I decided to do some investingating… haha I forgot to upload the comments page for this template! :tongue: silly me.

Lately I’ve been having some health problems. Around last November I started having tons of nausea, diarrhea, etc. In the past 3 months I’ve spent at least one night vomiting for hours. The next day I am usually fine, but pretty much i feel horrible all the time. I kept making up excuses for it, like “Oh I’m really stressed out, maybe it’s just affecting me, things will calm down next week,” “Oh my period always screws everything up,” etc. I’ve been on Orthotricyclen-lo for almost a year now. My mom suggested it might be from taking birth control, but it seems weird that these symptoms would start up after 6 months of use. By some coincidence each of these vomiting episodes happened after eating foods with tomatoes in it. I’ve steered clear of tomatoes and so far I haven’t thrown up. I don’t want to have to go through the rest of my life not eating anything tomato-based though. πŸ™ I’m kind of hoping that I’ll get vomity again just so I can rule out tomatoes as being the cause for it hehe. :angel:

Today I went to my family doctor. He doesn’t think it has to do with Orthotricyclen because I had a similar problem a year ago. He took some blood and a urine samples to do some tests. He was very concerned that this has been going on for like four months, he said that it’s not normal and alarming. 😯 he thinks it may be colitis. I’m not sure though, I’m not experiencing some of the symptoms, but hey he’s a doctor and I’m not. 😐 Plus the tests don’t lie. He is going to put me on some medication next week and probably have me go see a GI specialist and have…

… a colonoscopy. When he said that I seriously started freaking out! I do NOT want to have a colonoscopy!! My dad has to have one every year (he’s older than dirt) and he gets physically ill from the laxative they make you take the night before to “cleanse the system out.” Plus, a colonoscopy sounds pretty serious to me… when I hear that I think “colon cancer” and there is a history of colon cancer in my family. I know that most likely there isn’t any cancer, but that doesn’t really make me feel better. :depressed:

I do feel better that I’ve actually seen a doctor about this and hopefully now I can start feeling better… but I’m kind of scared. I’d rather not know than have something be seriously wrong with me. I guess that’s not true, but I don’t want to think about having to live with a serious condition for the rest of my life. I was upset enough when I thought I wouldn’t be able to eat tomatoes anymore…

Sometimes it’s not in the plans.

Sunday night after I had gotten into my cute VS pajamas, Mike IMed me and said his parents were heading back up to the hospital after one of his aunts called, adding that he would be following them shortly. His aunt made it sound pretty urgent that everyone get there right away, Grandma Mary was doing very badly (her heartbeats per minute [BPM] could not get above about 45) and the doctors didn’t expect her to make it through the night. It wasn’t the first time they said this though. I offered to go with Mike for moral support and he took me up on the offer, so I got back into my jeans and drove out to meet him somewhere so we could drive up together.

Once we got to the hospital I found that Mike’s mother’s ENTIRE family was there. She has five sisters, and every one of them was there with their significant other, their kids, and their significant others. Everyone was looking very grave and crying, and one look at Grandma Mary let me know why. She had no strength at all and could barely nod her head. She was heavily sedated and we could tell by the glossy haze in her eyes. Mike couldn’t bring himself to talk to her and we spent the next two hours at her bedside, Mike staring at the heart monitor, willing the numbers to go up, and me standing next to him, feeling completely useless and invisible.

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My life is a never-ending abyss of despair.

And I’ll tell you why.

I was driving home last night from Mike’s house, when all of a sudden I see a huge wood pile in the middle of the freeway. I couldn’t tell what it was (looking back on it I think it must have been a wooden crate or something) and I had seconds to evaluate my options. I knew that there were cars all around me going speeds in excess of 70 mph, and if I tried to avoid the wood I could (and probably would) hit one of the other motorists and cause a collision. If I went over the wood, the car could spin out of control but most likely I would go over it and incur some damage on my car (as I learned in the wire incident, some of you might know what I mean. I’ll be damned if I can find that blog entry though). So, I went over it.

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Internet, I missed you!

I’ve been so busy this week! I feel like I’m going, going, going all the time with no time to rest or relax. πŸ˜₯ Yesterday I had to cover for a coworker whose mother is dying (poor thing :() after school. Once I got home from work, I ate dinner and went to bed. I was asleep by 8:30. 😯 And I was STILL exhausted when I woke up the next morning! :faint: Hopefully this weekend I’ll catch up on some sleep debt.

Gas Stations do not accept personal checks.

Yesterday started out like any other weekday. I woke up early after having a dream that I was a crack dealer, got in the shower, dressed, agonized over what I was wearing, decided it was good enough and left. As I walked to my car I gazed up at the stars in the sky and mused over how freaken messed up it is that I am leaving my house while there are still stars out.

I drove into Fullerton, eagerly anticipating paying 20 cents less for gas when I looked into my purse and realized with a start: I left my wallet at home. With my license, ATM card, credit card, money and AAA card inside. I began to panic, knowing I had no way of being able to pay for gas and I didn’t have enough gas to make the 30 mile trek back home to get my wallet. I left the gas station and went to school, trying to take comfort in the fact that at least I would not be late for class and I would not miss this Algebra quiz. I called Mike and immediately began crying as I told his voicemail my dilemma.

While in class I realized that I had my checkbook with me, surely that would count for something somewhere? I also tried to think of anyone I knew in Fullerton that could spot me $5. I couldn’t bring myself to call anyone so early in the morning on a Friday though. I even thought of asking my professor to borrow $5, but that would just be too mortifying.

After class I tried at two different gas stations to pay with personal check, but they weren’t having any of that. I even found an old credit card in my glove compartment that was still good THROUGH THIS MONTH, but wouldn’t work for some unknown reason. Finally I had no other choice but to have Mike meet me somewhere and fill me up. Problem? he had work that morning at 8AM, and it was now 7:50. He let his boss know what was up and he was really understanding about it, but I still felt really bad for making Mike miss work just so he could come and fix my problem.

I was able to make it all the way to Irvine on empty (the light was even on!) to the Shell station on Culver and the 5 freeway. Once I saw Mike I cried (again, for the 20th time that morning) and he hugged me like the awesome boyfriend he is and let me know it was okay, everyone makes mistakes and missing work wasn’t really such a big deal. Sometimes I really can’t believe he is so awesome to me… especially since I’ve done pretty much nothing to deserve it except make fun of him and whine… a lot.

After that we went our separate ways, both having our jobs to go to. I stopped by my house for a quick second to grab my wallet (thank God a policeman/woman did not witness my speeding on the way to class! Yayyy invisibility!) and off to work I went.

At least we were able to see each other. Otherwise we would not have seen each other until Sunday. πŸ™‚

Job Hunting Sucks.

Well, it’s been about four weeks since I was laid off and since then I’ve had three interviews, one cancelled interview and one job. The first interview was as a nanny for a nice family in Laguna Beach. I worked there three days and quit, it just wasn’t for me.

The next interview was for Tutoring center #1. It seemed like the interview went well last week and this week they told me they would make a decision on Monday and let me know. I really want this job because it is about seven minutes from my home! :star:

The next interview was for Tutoring center #2 and was supposed to be last Tuesday but I cancelled it. Although it was close to my school, I wasn’t excited about driving so far everyday and also the people were very unprofessional, which is why I quit my last job. So I called her and cancelled the interview because I knew that even if they offered me the job, I would have rejected it, so it was a waste of time.

The last interview was over the phone yesterday for Tutoring center #3 and it seemed to go pretty well. They pay $18.50 AN HOUR for the first two hours and $16.50 after that. Either way, that’s some pretty nice cash. However, they said that they will let me know in TWO WEEKS. I can’t wait around for that long for them to tell me that they might have a job for me, so I need to keep looking.

I’ve started looking at Receptionist jobs since that’s what I’m most familiar with, but I’m really wary about getting back into an office environment. The politics are just so exhausting and the work is really boring. Plus I would need to buy a LOT of new clothes since I have next to no business professional clothing. πŸ™

Blehh I hope something comes up soon. I’m getting anxious about bills and things of that nature. Maybe I’m being too picky about jobs. I’m really worried about the hours and everything since I want to see Mike as much as possible. One nice thing about most Tutoring places is that they aren’t open on Fridays, so I can either hang out with Mike or drive up to LA and spend the weekend with Vanessa. But next quarter Mike’s school schedule will be Thursday, Friday and Saturday and he’ll have to work those days too. It’s going to be hard to see each other. πŸ™

Wish me luck!