Just Bad All Over (or UCI Saga part 2)

It’s as if I like pain and I just keep going back for more!

Friday I made the trek to UCI to talk to a counselor about transferring, such as what classes I’m missing and which I need to take. So I get there, and the campus! It is so big! It must be at least three times the size of CSUF. And everyone looked so happy! Not like at Fullerton… everyone on cellphones, waiting for their class to start or rushing to their cars afterwards. With butterflies in my stomach and directions from my brother (thanks {Chris} :kawaii: ), I march into the administration office. After a wait, I ask a very nice counselor if I could please see someone to talk about transferring please? She asked if I was a community college student and I replied, no, I attend Cal State Fullerton.

Well. Apparently they do not offer counseling for students attending Cal State Universities, because [insert reason here that I still don’t understand, something about not having an articulation agreement with Cal States? I don’t know]. This would have been nice to know, since it was never mentioned in any of the information I read online or when I called to ask about making an appointment. She very kindly asked if there were any general questions she could help me with, since I drove all this way and was already here?

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Totally sick of studying.

I’m so glad it’s almost Spring Break, because I am so sick of studying right now. 😥 I’m currently studying for my History of Rock class (don’t knock it — It’s pretty interesting and challenging) and the study guide I’m making is getting hellishly long. I took my first quiz for that class today and I got an A — WOOO. My confidence has been shattered lately with the whole Bio fiasco (speaking of which, we had another paper due last Friday, and who forgot to do turnitin.com? Yes, that would be me.:faint: ), I’ve never had so much trouble with classes at CSUF before.

My Bio lab is hard, too. I’ve been doing well on the labs (I think) but the quizzes have been totally rocking me. 😥 In cases like this I would bank on a paper to help my grade, but A) my paper writing abilities aren’t as solid as I thought they were and B) I don’t know if the lab has a paper. And I just got a D on a paper in American Character… maybe because I didn’t read the books all the way through? :angel: Hopefully it won’t hurt my grade TOO much. I’m doing really well in my Shakespeare class. We have quizzes on every play that I’ve been acing, and I felt really confident about my last exam. My other English class is pretty sweet too — when we have it. It was cancelled again today, which is bad. We’re already WAY behind on the material (as in 5 days behind. That’s a LOT.). I don’t know how I did on my paper, either. Hopefully I did well. 😥 I could really use the confidence boost right about now.

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When it comes to schooling, I’ve never felt like I’ve gotten a grade lower than I deserved. I have generally found that the input I put into my work yields equivalent output (OMG THAT SOUNDS LIKE ALCHEMY).

Until I started taking Biology 101. I’ll withhold the professor’s name so I don’t get kicked out for making mean comments about him. Let me tell the story…

We had to write this paper on stem cell research. If you’re that much of a nerd and you want to read it, here it is. Anyway, it’s not a bad paper, right? We had to present what it is, the known methods of therapy, the risks, and reccomend a course of action for our “cousin.” CLEARLY, I did all of that. So why did I get a D? That’s what I would like to know. 👿 I was really upset by this, everyone. Because of this paper, I now have a D in this class (because I also got a D on the first exam). I can’t get anything less than a B in Biology. That would totally F up my cumulative average of 3.92 (In 2 years of college so far, I have gotten one B. And THAT was a math class, so it doesn’t count. Or at least it shouldn’t. 🙁 ) Anyway, as you can see, a D is not in the plan. I need to get awesome grades so that UCI may possibly want me, since I want to transfer there.

Anyway, so I take the logical route, I decide to visit said professor during office hours so I might consult with him on this issue. I get there 20 minutes early, and ring him on the telly so he can open the hallway door (the school keeps this particular hallway to professors’ offices locked) but he doesn’t answer. So I deduce that he must not be in his office yet, since I’m early. Well, 20 minutes come and go, and 10 more people show up. Another girl informs us that he was 30 minutes late to his office hours last week, and he only showed up that time because she hunted him down on campus, and upon confrontation he claims forgetfulness. So this lady walks up about five to ten minutes after office hours start, dials the number, and lo and behold, he answers the door! I was so pissed! Then afterwards, he split us up by class and addressed our problems individually. To me, he says, “Well, write your next essay, and then talk to me again after that.” …?? WTF DUDE, I DID NOT WAIT 40 minutes for you to tell me THAT! And then he completely ignored me after that, when I was going to ask him to look at said next essay, because I had ALREADY WRITTEN IT.

I felt so invisible, so tossed aside, so UNJUSTLY TREATED. I worked hard on that last essay only to get a D on it, and I studied really freaken hard for that test only to score 68% on it.

But this injustice has also inspired me to work even HARDER. I’LL SHOW THEM! No matter how much The Man puts me down, I’m GONNA GET MINE.

I stole a smoothie.

Today one of my classes was cancelled, and so I had an unusual break in my day for about an hour on campus. I decided that I needed some sustenance, so I went to my campus JIU (that stands for Juice it Up). I waited there for what seemed like forever while the chick operating the cash register talked to some fool. Am I really that good at being invisible? Finally the blending guy asked me for my order and made it, while this girl yakked away. He finished making it and the girl still hadn’t taken my money, but I kind of forgot about it and walked away. Then I realized that indeed, I had never paid for this lovely smoothie, and also I forgot a straw, so I went back. But that girl was STILL talking to that guy, she never even noticed that they had just given away a free smoothie! I was a little bit miffed, I wasn’t about to harass them to take my money, so I just walked away.

Almost immediately an immense sense of guilt washed over me. I was a thief. I stole this smoothie! I was resolved to go back there and make them take my money, but then a little devil came on my shoulder…

:evil:: What are you doing?
:angel:: Well… I never paid for this smoothie, so the Christian thing to do would be to go back and pay for it…
:evil:: Shut up, bitch! You’re a poor college student! You need to take a free smoothie where you can get it, you can’t afford to be throwing around money to people who don’t even want it!
:angel:: Yeah, but… Jesus would have gone back and given them the money. I could learn a lesson from Jesus.
:evil:: Learn this: that chick had it coming. She should have been paying attention to her customers, not flirting with that guy. Just go to class and forget about it.
:angel:: You’re right! Thanks for saving me $4.
:evil:: You’re welcome.

I gave in to temptation. About 15 minutes later I started to feel really guilty about it, and I was convinced this was going to be one of those things that God looks at when I get to heaven. And now I’m not going to get into heaven because I stole a smoothie once when I was a starving college student. 🙁

A new category!

Everyone, please welcome a new category… invisibility! I thought since this site is named, invisiblegirl.org, there should be a section that details why I’m so invisible, and etc.

in·visi·bili·ty: n. the quality of not being perceivable by the eye



    1. Impossible to see; not visible: Air is invisible.
    2. Not accessible to view; hidden: mountain peaks invisible in the fog.
    3. Not easily noticed or detected; inconspicuous: “The poor are politically invisible” (Michael Harrington).
    4. Not published in financial statements: an invisible asset.

I think I fall under the third one; not easily seen, inconspicious. 😀