The week after my nephew Aiden was born, I put a picture of him up on my desktop at work. A coworker asked me if it was nephew and I said yes, my sister just had a baby, beaming proudly. Her next question seemed innocent enough at first, but upon reflection it bothered me more and more.
Lady: “So, is your sister a lot older than you, or is she just a really young mother?”
Me: “Oh, she’s a lot older than me. She’s 36 and has 3 other kids.”
Lady: “Oh.”

At first I didn’t think anything of her query, but then I got to thinking, “Wait, why would she ask a question like that?” She knows I’m 20, and that’s old enough to have a sister that isn’t “a lot older” than me that could have children. It wouldn’t be unusual to have a sister that’s 25 or 27 or so and having a baby, which is the usual age for women to have babies I suppose, and I don’t consider it “a lot older” than me. As for the other part, I am just curious why a person would even ASK if she’s a “really young mother?” If that were so, wouldn’t it be reasonable to assume that perhaps it is a touchy subject that I would not feel comfortable with talking about with strangers? Was she going to be judgmental if I DID reply that I had a teenaged sister that just had a baby?

I don’t mind that she asked about my sister since I invited it by putting up a picture on a computer we share one day of the week. But her manner in asking was a little presumptuous and disrespectful, in my opinion. I guess I’m not too upset by it; she comes it on Tuesdays, which is usually my day off, so I rarely see her.

Am I being silly or do I actually have a point?

3 thoughts on “Judgmental?

  1. No I’d be kind of weirded out by that, too. You never know if she COULD be judgmental, but the way she phrased her question was kind of weird. If she said something like, “oh how old is she?” or something maybe that wouldn’t be as big of a deal. I dunno, I see where you’re coming from.

  2. I think you have a good point. I’d be offended too.. but then again I would also have confronted her and said something like “She’s actually 16.. why, do you have a problem with that?”. I really need to learn tact but I can’t stand people who are blindingly judgemental. Someone should smack her.

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