“because fortune is a woman, and if you wish to keep her under it is necessary to beat and ill-use her; and it is seen that she allows herself to be mastered by the adventurous rather than by those who go to work more coldly. She is, therefore, always, woman-like, a lover of young men, because they are less cautious, more violent, and with more audacity (bold, daring) command her. “
— The Prince, Niccolo Machiavelli.

We’ll see who’s the woman once I start BEATING ON YOUR DEAD DECAYING ASS.